What is Fanfictiondotnet, Really?
by Quin Firefrorefiddle
Summary: Sort of a parody of the Matrix, of fanfiction, and a satire rolled into one. Really defies summation. Please review!


What is Fanfictiondotnet really?  
  
Author: Quin Firefrorefiddle  
  
Disclaimer: This is a parody of the Matrix, but I'm not actually using any characters from it, just the idea, sort of. Relax and read. I don't think it's as good as some of my other stuff, but it's funny in an understated sort of way, maybe call it a satire. I don't own Fanfiction.net, either, or any of the ficdoms mentioned.  
  
  
  
I sat at my computer, typing yet another fic, when all of a sudden, my screen went black and green typed words started to appear.  
  
Quin.  
  
Look at what I can do, Quin.  
  
Are you weirded out yet, Quin?  
  
Follow the Mad Hatter, Quin.  
  
Knock knock, Quin.  
  
Two sharp raps sounded at the door to my forty two bedroom mansion in Beverly Hills, and I jumped. I looked back at my computer and it was back to normal. I went to the door and saw a few of my fans there, waiting, as always, for the next chapter of my newest fic. These guys got it early, always, because they paid me well for it. What can I say, if a cliffhanger is good enough to earn me money, I'm not about to give it away for free.  
  
Anyways, they were about to go, but they invited me along to the salsa club they were going to, and when one of them turned and I saw a Mad Hatter tattoo on his shoulder, I followed.  
  
We were at the club, when this tall, dark and handsome guy came up to where I was standing, in my corner, watching the dancers.  
  
"Hi, Quin, I'm Gary."  
  
"How do you know my name?"  
  
"I know lots of things about you, Quin, I know why you have no social life, why you live alone, why you can't dance salsa, and why, night after night, you sit at your computer typing fic, and searching that site for new stuff."  
  
"Sure, everybody's jealous of my success even though my parents heartlessly abandoned me when I was three, but I was able to make enough of a living singing and dancing in Vegas to afford my mansion, which is so lonely because Prince Charming hasn't shown up yet, I don't have a Latin soul, and fans can get murderous when they don't get their fic on time."  
  
"But you also want the answer to a question, Quin. I know. You know that there has to be another purpose for fic, as I did. But what is the question, Quin?"  
  
I whispered. "What is Fanfictiondotnet really for?"  
  
"Yes, come with me, Quin."  
  
I followed him out of the club, and to a run down apartment building. He stopped in front of a door, and said, "She's read every fic ever written, Quin, don't bother lying to her."  
  
We walked in, there was a gorgeous long legged blonde in a black leather minidress and 4 inch stiletto heels standing by the window. She turned around.  
  
"My name, Quin, is Mary. Do you want to learn the truth, Quin? Do you want to know what Fanfictiondotnet is really for?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then take this white pill with little hearts all over it, and follow me." I swallowed it, and went into the next room. They connected me to lots of monitors, and then I went through this really cool dreamlike sequence where I woke up in this bowl of purple Silly Putty-ish stuff, and fell into this sea, but even though I'm a lifeguard and over the years I've saved dozens of lives on the cast of Baywatch I couldn't swim.  
  
Next thing I woke up, and I was lying in a bed with dirty clothes on. Mary was sitting next to me. She took me on a tour of her ship, the Matrix, and told me about all the other ships out there, the Harry Potter, the Hercules & Xena, the West Wing, four sister ships Star Trek series, and the Pokemon, which was old and falling apart, though huge.  
  
She introduced me to her crew, Gary again, Stu, herself, and Sue. Stu was a blond Adonis and Sue was a stunning long legged redhead. The addition of myself, a lovely long legged brunette, would make a crew of five.  
  
What was our mission? We wrote fic to hint at people that the reality they new was not really reality, that their ficdoms were real, and their fantasies came true as soon as they wrote them.  
  
Why did they come after me, you ask? Well, as it turns out, I'm the Forty Second, long prophesied to appear, which means I can do anything I want in the ficdom. Anything at all. And I do.  
  
Mary and Sue aren't really happy with me now, since Gary and Stu are following me around like puppies, but they know I'm an incredibly nice person at heart, and so they know that it's really for their own good.  
  
And we all lived happily ever after. 


End file.
